Week 3 Recap

Week 3 Record: 3-2

Cumulative Record: 7-3

What the hell is going on in the league? Tomlinson and Johnson are sucking hind teat, and now Jackson is out for at least this week. Perenial superstars each, they are NOT performing (along with others, of course) and are wreaking havoc in fantasy leagues across the land.

And let me be the first to point out that Tony Romo is NOT a good quarterback. No, not even close to being good. He has, ladies and gentlemen, transcended into a GREAT quarterback. I’ve always said you can tell a lot about a person’s character by the way they handle themselves during adversity. Any normal person would have ran away and hid from the masses had we dropped the snap of a potential game winning field goal (ala Tony Romo last year). But this guy has not only placed that behind him, he has moved past that into being discussed in the same sentences as Brady and Manning (you know which one). I mean, to basically dismantle a defense like the Bears the way he did the other night is a testament that what we have seen of him is only a sign of things to come. Now, on to the re-cap.

I had to wait a day before doing this because so many games were close after Sunday that last night’s outcome between the Titans and Saints played a role in three of our five games. And man, did it ever come down to the wire for our game of the week between the Revolution and the Hogs of Wart.

I spoke to the coach of the Revolution on Sunday and we both felt like going into Monday with a 13 + point lead was good enough to cruise into their first victory. Besides, we thought, the Hogs had only the TE from the Titans playing. With the TE being someone other than Gonzalez, Gates, or Winslow, 13 points was a shoe in for the Revolution.

But it just goes to show you what I know. Scaife scored an incredible 10 points for the Hogs to bring the final margin down to a measly 2.3 points. But let’s give credit where credit is due. I predicted that if the Revolution kept things the way they were, they would win by 10. If they changed, it would be in the 20 point range. I advised to bench McNabb, for example. On the heels of his “black quarterback” comments on Real Sports with Bryant Gumble, this guy, whom I predicted would be benched or released at the end of the year, lights it up for 40 points. Curry didn’t have the 20+ I predicted but he came away with 14. But what really hurt the Revolution, if anything did, was the lack of production from Larry Johnson.

As predicted, Maurice Jones-Drew continues to suck. But I have also said that Ronnie Brown was being under utilized, yet look for Miami to start using him out of the backfield for short yardage receptions. The result? Larry Johnson 4.5, Ronnie Brown 38.5. It’s time for the glamour and fashionable picks of Tomlinson and Johnson to be benched until the get back on track.

So deep, heart felt congratulations for the Revolution getting their first win of the season.
Niners vs. the Jakesters: The Jakesters, as noted last week, has a new coach. The coach has abruptly changed the name of her team to the Elvi, named after THE most overrated performer of all time, Elvis “The King” Presley. It’s bad enough I have to sit in my office and see that big ass, wall hugging velvet Elvis on her wall, but now I have to live with a team named the Elvi? Anway……………….

I predicted a big time win for the Niners in a 30 + point blow out. Man, was I ever wrong. The Niners had single digit performances from their TQB (St. Louis) and Steve Smith. Chad Johnson still had his 15 points, but the coach fell into what a lot of fantasy owners fall into: a mistaken belief that one week’s performance is going to be repeated each week. As you know, Smith and Johnson combined for over 70 points the previous week. This week = 16.

But let’s give credit. The Broncos TQB came alive for the Elvi. Joseph Adai performed as planned. But lo and behold Westbrook in Philly did his best McNabb impersonation and rambled for an incredible 37.5 point performance. Again, it just shows you how much I really know because I was leading the calls for benching anyone associated with Philadelphia.

So even though the Elvi finally notched one in the win column, I hope the team’s short lived success isn’t tampered with too much by Elvis’ biggest fan and Elvi coach, Queen Ralphy. Lord only knows how “man” screws things up once he starts meddling.

Gnus vs. Team Smith: in another nail biter (2.5 points), team Smith came from a predicted insurmountable lead after Sunday and beat the Gnus on the heels of the performance of Vince Young. Man, this Team Smith is something else. But just as Steelers heavy as they are, the Gnus are Redskins heavy. That hurts worse than wiping you ass with sandpaper. The only thing Redskins heavy I have in my house is the mounds of Redskins toilet paper that I use religiously.

BadAss Bills vs. Syrens: so here I was last week blasting the Syrens for handing the bailbonds a victory by not playing a team defense. So what does the coach do? Picks up the chiefs defense. And what happens? They score 23.5 points to give the Bills a scare. Even though the bills had -1 points between the TE and the Coach, they once again rode the heels of Brady and Palmer to the tune of 59 points. That was the only difference. Mark my word: the Syrens aren’t finished.

Jimmy Peppers vs. BailBonds: in a week 1 rematch, the bailbonds handed the Jimmy peppers their first loss of the season on the strength of Dallas TQB and Anquon Boldin. But the biggest differences and the game deciding players were the team defenses and head coaches. The Jimmy Peppers got a total of 3.1 points between the two, where the BailBonds received a whopping 21.9.