Week 2 Predictions

Aaaah. My favorite time of the week. The players reported back to their respective camps today, which gives us an initial analysis of where they will stand in the upcoming week. I love Wednesdays and Fridays because that is when teams determine who is or isn’t going to play on Sunday and what they plan to do. So let the projections begin.

Game of the Week: Virginia Revolution vs. The Badass Bills
MQ warned me before the season started that she was going to be mad at me if I beat her brother, who just happens to be the coach of the Virginia Revolution. Comissioner Hughes did a good job of 1) placing him in a different bracket than me and 2) not putting him on my schedule. So….I won’t have to whip his ass weekly…………I’ll leave that up to his opponents. This week is going to be no exception.

I sort of feel sorry for the guy, but then again, this IS his second year playing. It’s just unfortunate that this week he goes up against the powerhouse Badass Bills. What hurt the revolution in the first week was Dante Stallworth and Denver’s head coach scoring only 1 point. It also didn’t help that Larry Johnson wasn’t utilized more, diminishing his point total. While the coach of the Revolution commmented on the Week 1 Update blog that he didn’t know one could play a team quarterback at the offensive player position and that he wouldn’t make that mistake again, I do admit that had he done so in Week 1 he would have scored an extra 40 some odd points. Considering he lost by only 18, this was a huuuuuuuuuuge mistake. It pays to know the rules.

The Badass Bills, on the other hand, didn’t have anyone score below 4. The Bone road the Patriots QB to a whopping 37 points, but now that seems miniscule compared to the accusations being tossed at the Patriots. Hell, I could score 37 points if I knew what my opponent’s defense was doing too! But don’t count Tom Brady out. I mean, this is a guy who was a mid round draft pick out of michigan. His senior year in the bowl game, he led michigan back from a 24-0 deficit to beat The Crimson Tide 27-24 and broke my heart. I drink more because of him. This guy is a winner and is absolutely no joke. Expect more points out of Marshawn Lynch, but don’t expect Seattle’s Defense to score as many as they did last week. Arizona’s offense is too explosive to keep down.

Prediction: the key to a Revolution win is hope that KC gives LJ the ball more. If they do, and if he can hold up against a very stout Chicago defense, he could score in the double digits. If I were the Revolution, I would pick up Ronald Curry out of Oakland, who is finally coming into his own. He scored a whopping 22 points last week and could do it again against a sluggish Denver Defense. But hell, any of the top 10 remaining WRs are worth getting because 1) they all scored double-digits and 2) they all scored more than one point. Stallworth is done, especially with the resurgence of Randy Moss.

But let’s say that LJ DOES get his 20-25 carries and the Revolution DOES pick up a better reciever than Dante Stallworth. I don’t think it will be enough to overcome the Badass Bills. Coach E-bone has learned the secret about starting offenisve players. Thus, he has the Patriots, Bengals, and Giants TQBs starting. Together, those three scored a whopping 95 points in week 1, which is MORE than the Revolution scored in week one as a TEAM. Unless the Revolution do some creative maneuvering, this is going be ugly…..very ugly. Almost as ugly as that girl……….well, never mind. The Badass Bills storm to 2-0 as they push the 180-point envelope in week two with a 179.5 -120 point win over the Revolution.

Other Predictions
Team Smith vs. The Hor-Hey Niners: This was almost my game of the week because this is going to be one of the better matchups in week two. Team Smith road the Plaxico Burress/Steelers Defense Train to a victory over the Jakesters. The Niners, on the other hand, had solid performances from Adrian Peterson in MIN and the Patriots Defense. Expect drop offs in points from both as Peterson meets Detroit and the Patriots go up against the Chargers. Chad Johnson may save them with a breakout performance against Cleveland, but I don’t think it will be enough. Team Smith goes to 2-0 with a 140 – 107 victory over the Niners.

The NewportNewsGnus vs. the Warthogs: this is one of those games you will never see on TV because it isn’t worth the network’s time to show it. Neither coach really has an idea. The Warthogs was the biggest let down in week one, but they shouldn’t fret. This will be like the Michigan-Notre Dame game this week: one HAS to win, even though they suck, because they are playing each other. Expect the Gnus to ride the Manning/Wayne train to high double digit points. But don’t expect much else unless Rudi Johnson and the Cadillac get off their asses and start performing. And GET RID OF COREY DILLON! The guy scored you ZERO points! Go pick up Chris Brown (titans) or Justin Griffith out of Oakland. The Hogs are literally loaded with superstars who underperformed in week one. In fact, expect the Hogs to make a strong come back an end up in the top 3 at the end of the season. The only concern I have for week two is the Chargers TQB playing against the Patriots. Other than that, the Hogs have Reggie Bush against Tampa Bay, Holt vs. SanFran, Who’s-Your-Momma against Cleveland, McGahee against the Jets, and Urlacher against KC. If any one of those has a good week, it will more than make up for the lackluster performance of the SD QB. However, expect them ALL to get back on track as the Hogs WAX the Gnus in a strong statement to the validity of their team, 146.5 – 110.

Bailbonds over the Syrens, 154-120: Bailbonds scored the second most points in week one and didn’t win because they played the team that scored themost. The syrens’ coach has been in and out of town and hasn’t really paid too much attention to the team. Thus, the Bailbonds score the third highest point total, but win this week in a tune up for another showdown with the Peppers in week three. However, if the Bailbonds look past the Syrens to week three, they could be in for a major, major letdown.

Red Hot Jimmy Peppers over the Jakesters, 201 – 110. The Peppers take the Jakesters behind the wood shed for an old fashioned Deliverance beat down and break the 200 point total. Riding the coat tails of several key acquisitions this week, plus taking advantage of the Jakesters still being coachless, the Peppers will make a VERY STRONG statement in their quest to re-claim the league championship.

Well. There you have it, folks. Predictions for Week 2. Let the debates begin. Oh by the way, League power rankings will be unveiled after week two.